Saturday, January 31, 2015

All About Brochacho

This week was Brochacho's birthday!

Brochacho, you're an awesome dude and I'm so lucky to have you as a big brother. You're a beast at NBA 2k15 and finishing people's food for them (even if they're not done).

Brochacho: i try 2 b helpful

Yes, we appreciate that.

This was a milestone birthday for Brochacho, so we went out to eat and took him to get some new shoes.

By now you guys have probably pretty much figured Brochacho out, but let me tell you all about him just in case.

  • Food. That's it. That's all he needs.

Brochacho: thats not enough

  • I know Brochacho doesn't have the best grammar on here, but he's actually one of the smartest guys I know. He does text like that, though.

He wants to be an accountant.

Brochacho: yea

  • Brochacho is on the school's football team. He plays nose guard, right tackle, and is on the kickoff team. He doesn't play quarterback, but occasionally he'll go in as nickelback.

Brochacho: *facepalm* really

I thought it was pretty funny.

  • Brochacho plays games such as Madden 15 and (as mentioned previously) 2k15. I help him choose the cute uniforms.

Brochacho: no just no

  • Brochacho's feet are ginormous. Experts have concluded that both of his feet put together would cover the state of Montana.

Fun Fact: The nursery rhyme "Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe" was based off of Brochacho's sneakers.

Brochacho: they're my battleships

  • Brochacho doesn't approve of Prince Harry and I's marriage. I'm sure they'll warm up once they're brothers-in-law.

Brochacho: he doesn't kno u

But you don't know that for sure...

  • Brochacho is an ardent Atlanta Falcons fan. We actually traveled and went to one of their games as an early birthday president. Needless to say, he is cheering for the commercials during the Super Bowl along with me.

Brochacho: they shoulda gotten 2 the bowl

We know, Brochacho.

While this is just a little insight into Brochacho's life, he's a really cool guy.

Love you, Brochacho.

Brochacho: i luv u 2

Are you... crying?

Brochacho: brochacho doesnt cry *sniff*

Happy Birthday, Brochacho!
Your Royal Paleness

**P.S.  Come back Wednesday for a special Hump Day Pun-Day. Wouldn't wanna steal Brochacho's thunder...

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Downton Abbey for the Win

Congratulations to Downton Abbey for your SAG Award in Outstanding Performance by an Ensemble in a Drama Series!

You are all incredibly outstanding artists and I look forward to your show every Sunday night.

(You can't tell but I wrote that in a British accent.)

Mr. and Mrs. Bates are favorites among Momma and I. They are quite adorable.

I also love to see the children, George and Sibby (Sybil Jr.), especially in that one scene a few episodes ago when Tom was playing with them.

That's my splurge for the day! Happy Tuesday!
Your Royal Paleness

Monday, January 26, 2015


January has literally gone on forever.

But thankfully, puns are here to make it better!

Since Super Bowl XLIX is in one week (whoop whoop! Go, Commercials!) I have a pun about one of the competitors, the New England Patriots. I'm not gonna say anything about the Deflate Gate, though.

Those guys need a chance to let off some air anyway.

Wow, the last game at the Gillette Stadium was a close shave!

It really wasn't, but the pun wouldn't have worked if I said the real thing.

Like I said before I'm cheering for the commercials, as neither Brochacho, nor myself, are fans of either of the Super Bowl teams (sorry). We'll still watch it, of course, we're Southerners.

Brochacho: i like the food

We know, Brochacho.
Brochacho's birthday is coming up, so look out for "All About Brochacho!"

Brochacho: yea

Who are y'all cheering for?
Your Royal Paleness

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Your Royal Paleness' Guide to the Flu

Okay, guys, we should be able to handle the flu by now. We've known about it for, like, 80 years.

At my school at least 16 kids have it, and they're all congregatin' and whatnot, so it's literally just spreading everywhere. I walked into school today and my teachers were Purelling and bleaching everything in sight.

 I wasn't aware I had a white leopard print backpack until today.

But never fear, my friends, for Momma has brought me up in her germaphobe ways, and I am here to guide you in your fight against influenza.

Step 1: Buy a Hazmat Suit. They sell on Amazon all the time. And don't worry when your friends laugh at you- they won't be laughing when their birthday cake from 3 years ago makes a reappearance. Click here for the Amazon link.

Step 2: Stock up on hand sanitizer. While it does literally nothing against the flu (except maybe distract you from your extreme fever for second with the fun scents), it can't really hurt. Unless, you know, you bathe in it or something, but nothing's happened to me yet. 

Step 3: Never touch anything. Ever. Get your significant other to open doors and stuff for you. Prince Harry always holds doors for me.

Brochacho: ha ha sure

Leave, Brochacho.

But seriously, ask me if I haven't been behind a boy and he just keeps walking, leaving the door to slam in my face at least a dozen times.  Where IS the chivalry?

But that's another post.

Anyway, you must master the art of keeping your hands to yourself, specifically Pull-to-Exit Restrooms, and here's how:

  • Use any other part of your body except your hands, because you probably aren't shoving your elbow up your nose.

  • Use your paper towel to open the door. This is a classic Momma move.

Step 4: Stay out of public places. Especially anywhere with a clinic or pharmacy. Just stay home and binge-watch Austin and Ally.

Follow this guide and you are 99.9% guaranteed not to get the flu, or any of that other mess going on. 
On the off chance that you do get sick, however, you can always visit your favorite blog.

So what do you guys think about the Super Bowl? I'm cheering for the commercials.
Your Royal Paleness

Monday, January 19, 2015


Last night's TV shows were just so emotional.

First the season premiere of Austin and Ally was just so:

And Downton Abbey was so:

So many feelings.

Luckily I have today off of school for Martin Luther King Day so I time to recoup.

Earlier in the week, I believe it was Friday, I actually got my new glasses. Momma has allowed me back into the house, so that's good. Here's what they look like:

I thought I would take a picture with them on for you guys, but then I realized it's kinda hard wearing both a mask and glasses.

Since January is so dreary down here there isn't much to pun about, so I'll go with my American History class.

Americans actually really liked tea, but their favorite was liber-tea.

You guys know you laughed.

Puns actually play a big part in America's history. In fact, there's a book by John Polluck called The Pun Also Rises.

I hope you guys all have a great week! Stay warm!
Your Royal Paleness

*P.S. To Argentina, I think I got a really good grade on my project!

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Quick Post

Hey y'all!
I just thought I'd put up a quick post to brighten your day.

Anyway, Momma found this picture awhile ago, and every word of it is true.

I guess that's why I got tea when I was little.

So I've noticed that I've got some friends in Argentina, and your views are greatly appreciated. Here is your GIF of gratitude!

I also got assigned a project on your lovely country today. You guys can totally help, just sayin'.

I hope this post made your day a little better! :)
Your Royal Paleness

Monday, January 12, 2015


Yay, almost halfway through January!
Brochacho's birthday is at the end of the month, so he's excited too.

Yesterday was the Golden Globe Awards, so congratulations to all the winners! You all do some really cool stuff on screen, which is much more than I could ever do, as I end up like a walrus with a sweating problem every time I try to act or something. Some of my favorite nominations were...

  • Big Hero 6, Best Animated Feature Film
  • Meryl Streep (Into the Woods), Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture (honestly, who doesn't love Meryl Streep's work?)
  • The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part I, Best Original Song (if you haven't heard Yellow Flicker Beat, click here)
  • Downton Abbey, Best TV Series (Drama)
Another cool thing about the Golden Globes, I was totally there!

Momma saw me on TV and took the picture.

Brochacho: u weren't there u watched it at home in your pj's

Go eat something, Brochacho.

I couldn't really find any Golden Globe puns so I'll give you a Mockingjay pun in honor of its nomination.

Based on the way Effie was acting I'd say she was in quite a bit of mah-agony.

I can't even wait for the next one.

Have a good week!
Your Royal Paleness

***P.S. Did y'all see my countdown? I uploaded it so Prince Harry wouldn't forget...

Monday, January 5, 2015


Hey, first Monday Pun-Day of the year! Woo hoo!

This is actually the 29th Monday Pun-Day, I think.

Since I told you all about what I was going to do during my weekend Thursday, let me tell you how everything went.

Dentist: No cavities! I did have to get those nasty x-rays, though, where they shove plastic up your gums. I'm pretty sure the floss wasn't why I was bleeding.

Glasses: That actually went by pretty quick. I picked out some frames that are turquoise and brown, I believe. We haven't gotten them yet, they still have to put in the Coke bottle lenses for me.

Batting Cage: Before I say anything else, let me make known that I haven't picked up a bat in awhile; not years or anything, but a few months. So my friend and I went into the 60 mph cage (the speed you go down a highway); she did excellent and I did okay, but in my defense I was breaking in some new gloves so I tore up my hands. And everything else.
I can't move.
But I hit a few that were pretty good, I guess, so I'm glad for that.

Downton Abbey: 

That's all I can really say about that, along with this:

It's just too much for words.

Brochacho: it's just a show

So is Sports Center.
Let's move on to our pun before I start crying... again...

It seems like Mr. Mosely loves Ms. Baxter. In fact, he thinks they're maid for each other.

(If you're not into Downton Abbey, just look it up. I'm sorry for you.)

In other news, I've noticed that my friends up in Canada have taken a slightly bigger interest in my musings, so much so that their interest has surpassed my native country's. Your love of puns has not gone unnoticed, O Canada! Please enjoy your GIF of gratitude!

Okay, I've got to go now, I've just found the biggest spider ever and it's moving.
Your Royal Paleness + Spider

***Spider Update: Victory! I won't show the carnage, this is a G-rated blog...

Thursday, January 1, 2015

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!

Those are my big fireworks since they're illegal where I live.

Since I know you all are just dying to know what I did this New Year's Eve, I binge-watched High School Musical 3 (the second one's the best, but it wasn't on so I had to settle) and the Mythbuster's Mega-Marathon. My favorite episode came on, and that made my year.

Today we cleaned up Christmas decorations (*sigh*) and cleared out the Home Depot of their holiday clearance.

Tomorrow I will go to the dentist (joy) and get new glasses, because:
A) I can barely see out of the ones I have now. I think I could be legally blind.
B) Momma, is not, to say the least, a fan of my current lenses.

To give you an idea of what my glasses look like now, just imagine two glass coke bottles held together by some black and pink metal.

In my defense, when I first got them I thought they were pretty snazzy. Guess not.

I'm just giving you my itinerary for the week, aren't I?

Saturday I'm going to the batting cage with my friend, so pray I don't take her out. After that Momma and I will have a Downton Abbey marathon because we just jumped on the bandwagon this summer and haven't seen season 4. Or, not all of it, at least. Then that night I'll help in the concession stand at some basketball games at our school. Pretty full day, huh?

(By the way, if you want to jump on the bandwagon with us, season 5 of Downton Abbey starts January 4th at 8pm central.)

I wonder if Prince Harry watches Downton Abbey.

Speaking of Prince Harry, his present finally did come!

He knew my size and everything!

Brochacho: he doesn't kno who u r

Hush, Brochacho.

Brochacho: u took that pic at the mall i was there

But really, I hope you guys and Prince Harry all have a Happy New Year and a super great 2015. Let me know how you celebrated!

By the way, if you guys haven't tried out this app called Trivia Crack, it's awesome.
Your Royal Paleness