Monday, December 29, 2014

MONDAY PUN-DAY 12/29


Hey y'all!

I'm trying to ignore the post-Christmas sadness by immersing myself in the remaining Hallmark movies. It's kind of working.

So we are currently 2 days away from New Year's Eve, I guess that's pretty exciting, with 2015 and all.

We've never really done much for New Year's Eve, sometimes we go over to a friend's house and we stay up until midnight. The countdown kinda gets on Momma's nerves, though...

In honor of the last few days of 2014, a year of many doctor visits and school projects, here is our pun.

We never really make New Years resolutions. They just go in one year and out the other anyway.

What do you all do for New Years?
Your Royal Paleness

Thursday, December 25, 2014

Merry Christmas, Y'all


Merry Christmas!!!

I hope y'all's day has been super special with your families and friends. My Grandma (yes, the Yankee) and Grandpa came over and spent some time with us, but can you believe Prince Harry never showed up?

The nerve.
Guess he's not getting any Crocs this year.

While we always have lots of fun during Christmas opening our presents, we must remember the greatest present of all, which is God sending His one and only Son into the world to save us and take our place in death, that we may one day be in His eternal presence. John 3:17 says:

"For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him."

So during the Christmas season, let us remember its true meaning.

This morning (after I took my beta blockers) our whole family opened up our gifts to each other.

Dog got two toys and some cookies... not to mention all the wrapping paper she go to tear up. One toy is already destroyed.

Momma received some very nice nail polish, candy, a new phone, and some accessories for the new phone from Deddy. She also got the 10th season of Friends on DVD.

Deddy got an audio book from Momma and some cherry sours.

Brochacho got lots of candy, some food gift cards, some shirts, and a laptop.

I also received a laptop, which I am typing on right now. In addition, every year Momma and Deddy pick out a nutcracker and a snowglobe for me. The nutcracker is German and in the traditional soldier style, while the globe features Santa and plays Jingle Bells when you wind up the bottom. One of my favorite gifts was a shirt that says:


It doesn't look like that but apparently my laptop isn't compatible with my pictures. This is a sign on Etsy you can buy.

Grandma and Grandpa also brought us all some luggage for our Spring Break trip. I won't say where, though, to keep you on you toes. *wink*

But never fear; Hallmark is giving us all another Christmas gift. In order to diminish those after-Christmas blues, they're continuing to show their cherished Christmas movies for the rest of 2014!

In conclusion I hope your Christmas was very merry and I wish you all many more.



Prince Harry, I'm still waiting on my present.
Your Royal Paleness

Sunday, December 21, 2014

Christmas List 6: Your Royal Paleness +MONDAY PUN-DAY


Happy Monday Pun-Day!

We're chilling out 'cause it's a little nasty outside, but the Christmas spirit is still here.

First, our pun.

Frosty the Snowman has been getting a lot of headaches lately. His doctor gave him a chill pill.

Didn't that just sleigh you?
As y'all all know I've been making Christmas lists for my family (and future family) for the past few days...
So today is my turn!

This will be a miscellaneous list, so if any of you guys need an idea, I've got your back.


  • CHOCOLATE CHOCOLATE CHOCOLATE
(Except dark chocolate. *shudder*)


  • Chips of really any kind, except spicy. My cardiologist told me I need lots of salt, so it's like medicine.


  • Mockingjay Part I DVD! I know it's not out yet but, hey, that would just make getting it even more special, right?


  • For Austin and Ally to come on on a regular basis. Season 4 doesn't start until January 18th, and even then they come on at ghastly intervals (like, months). I'm not trying to diss anybody at Disney, but gee whiz.



  • Oh, and if ABC's Whodunnit? returned too, that'd be great.



  • And finally, I have a specific gift for Prince Harry that would simply be delightful to receive. *wink* I think the GIF speaks for itself.

Of course, that's a smaller version.

To deliver any of these lovely presents, just come down South and ask for the pale girl.


Just in case you needed to know.
Your Royal Paleness

Saturday, December 20, 2014

Christmas List 5: Prince Harry


Today I will be listing off gifts for my future husband, Prince Henry Charles Albert David, better known as Prince Harry!!!

See? He agrees.

I would have made a list for Adam Levine, but he just had to go and get married on me.
Geez.

But back to the SINGLE men I find attractive, Prince Harry is obviously spending Christmas at my house so I must find him the perfect gift. Here's what I thought might be good:


  • A Spyder! A Spyder is like a motorcycle, but it has 3 wheels; it also happens to be something I wouldn't turn down for Christmas, just sayin'. Anyway, this one would be electric blue to match my Prince's eyes, and, of course, equipped with a GPS tracker so I always know how long it will be before he gets home.


  • A puppy! We can use it as practice for our little ginger children. Gotta keep the ginger-ness alive, you know.




  • Crocs! So we can match when we go on mall dates and stuff.

  • Sunscreen; of course, we gingers burn easily. I must take care of my Prince, after all.



While there are many, many more things I could buy for my favorite royal redhead (including some specific jewelry), this might be a little creepy for him and I think I should stop while he still plans to visit for Christmas.


Can't wait to see you soon, Harry!
Your ROYAL Paleness




Friday, December 19, 2014

Christmas List 4: Dog


Merry 6 days 'til Christmas!


I can't wait!!! Neither can ABC Family apparently; they're celebrating by showing Elf and National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation back-to-back starting at 8 pm (EST).

During Christmas everyone in our family receives presents, including Dog. I don't think I've ever really told you all about Dog before, so let me elaborate. First of all, Dog's a girl, and "Dog" is not her real name. I just call her that for privacy. Second, I think she's considered about medium size, and she weighs about 40 pounds. She's five years old and loves to play... and sleep.

When Dog does wake up long enough to play (Deddy is her playmate), squeaky toys are her favorite, but lately she's been chewing on this plastic bone thing.


  • We've all seen those toys that make dogs look like they have mustaches or smiles. I think we could have some fun with that.


  • A few years ago Dog had these cute little Christmas pj's, but we can't find them now. We're currently trying to get her to wear this Santa coat with a hoodie, but nothing will ever top those pj's...


  • Because we live in the South, Dog doesn't get treats- she gets cookies (they're still dog treats, we just call them that). If she ever hears anything remotely like the word "cookie" she goes ecstatic. If I could buy her all the cookies in the world I would. 





Dog: I wuv you

I love you too, Dog.

I would also give her some blankets because she likes to cuddle up in those when it's cold, but (shhh!) we got her some of those already.

Come say bye, Dog- oh, she's... sleeping again...


Oh well.
Your Royal Paleness

Thursday, December 18, 2014

Thursday Pun-Day +Christmas List 3: Brochacho


I know, I know, I'm 3 days late.


Let me explain.
My school had been ending it's 2nd quarter (or 1st semester, whichever you prefer), and every time this happens, the teachers realize they don't have enough grades and shove a ton of them down our throats.

This week alone I've had 2 tests, 3 quizzes, and a project.
So I figured I'd write a Hump Day Pun-Day since some of my tests were out the way, but A) Yesterday was my scoliosis appointment (no change), and B) I ended up with a headache.

But here I am today!

Most people don't know this, but Ebeneezer Scrooge did love one thing about Christmas; Santa's reindeer. Every buck was deer to him.  (Double the pun, double the fun!)

This Christmas will actually be Rudolph's 50th birthday.

The second thing on our agenda is Brochacho's Christmas List!

Brochacho: yea

Brochacho's list is short and to the point:
Food.

Brochacho loves food and inhales whatever is set before him (even if he doesn't quite know what it is). He especially enjoys things like big burgers and steak.

  • My first gift to Brochacho would be to take him to a certain Wendy's in Canada, where he could order this and still be "hungry."


  • This is a 3,555 pound plate of nachos. Enough said.


  • Of course, Brochacho is a teenager, so he needs to keep up with good hygiene.
Please.



  • Last but not least, I would find Brochacho a lifetime supply of shoes his size with socially acceptable color schemes. He wears a 15, and those shoes are all just awful colors.




Brochacho: as long as it fits i don't care



I hope your Christmas joy this year is as big as your feet, Brochacho!
Love,
Your Royal Paleness

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Christmas List 2: Momma


It's time for Christmas List #2: Momma!

The way to Momma's heart is very simple, and it's sparkles, sparkles, sparkles. Sparkly jewelry, sparkly makeup... She evens sparkles in the summertime.


Without further ado, here is Santa's Sparkliest List ever.


  • Sparkly makeup! Momma's favorite is L'Oreal Paris, and they have plenty of glittery pigments for every day of the week.









(Interested in these? Click here.)

  • Sparkly nails! Momma and I both enjoy creative nails, like the ones people put on Pinterest. These purple beauties are from The Daily Nail blog; for the how-to, click here!


  • Sparkly shoes. Shoes are a classic sparkle-zone. Momma likes Dansko shoes because they offer good support for work.







If they made a glitter Lysol, Momma would have to have it.
(Momma's a bit of a germaphobe.)


Merry Christmas, Momma!
Your Royal Paleness

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Christmas List 1: Deddy


Yay, our first Christmas List!

I'll be giving gift ideas for Deddy today, the lovable geek-at-heart.
I mean that in the nicest way possible.


  • First: Deddy gets really annoyed at those people who try to give you lotion and whatnot when you walk in a store. I've decided he needs the Invisibility Cloak from Harry Potter as to avoid these... generous gestures.




  • Deddy is an engineer, so he likes machines, especially ones that make things. He and I have been discussing a Makerbot for some time now, and I know he would enjoy one very much.


  • If there's a book of bad reviews, Deddy needs it. We are all the time laughing at people's comments on products or movies (for example, the Mr. Miracle reviews... *shudder*).
  • Deddy introduced us to The Princess Bride many years ago, and we're quoting it constantly. Some gear would be a good gift.


  • Deddy's car happens to be pretty small, and our family is pretty... tall, so it doesn't really mix. I think he might benefit from a bigger car.


There you have it, Deddy's Christmas List!


What do you think he should get?
Your Royal Paleness





Monday, December 8, 2014

MONDAY PUN-DAY 12/8


Before I forget, welcome to my blog, Germany!
My family is actually German. I mean, not directly, I was born in America, but we came over here around the 1800's, I think.

So, how was y'all's weekend?
Mine was pretty good, I started a new migraine medication and I haven't passed out yet, so fingers crossed.
I also got a good bit of my Christmas shopping done. My PE teacher asked for a pool, so he's getting this:


Y'all contain your jealousy, now.

That's what he gets for allowing Boccerball.

Anyway, as I was reading People Magazine the other day I spotted my lovely Prince Harry, and I thought, "hey, what if he bought ME a Christmas gift?"

So I have decided every day to make a gift list for everyone in my family (including Prince Harry, because he will be family one day), and just in case he thought of buying me a present, I'll make sure to give him some ideas.

That'll start tomorrow. And now for our pun.

Our friend's parents sell Christmas trees. Every year they get spruced up for the season.


Merry 17 Days until Christmas!
Your Royal Paleness

Monday, December 1, 2014

MONDAY PUN-DAY 12/1


Hey, it's the first day of December, which means there are only 24 DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS!!!

 

I have some of my Christmas shopping done. We actually did participate in Black Friday this year, but mostly to people watch. Thankfully there were no ambulances at Walmart this year.

One thing that I did get on Black Friday (coincidentally) was a new medicine for my migraines. My headaches had gotten to a point where my neurologist decided to put me on a daily medicine; the problem is I am allergic to many, many, many medications.

My doctor also failed to mention side effects included eye failure, clumsiness/dizziness (honestly I'm a teenager with POTS, I don't need any more of that), spasms, inability to concentrate, and a whole bunch of other stuff from Satan himself.

But of course we didn't know this when I took the first dose, and that was... an experience.

I need a moment.

Now, I didn't quite go through all the things listed above because it was just the first time I had taken it... But I did immediately break out into these weird, mutant hives, which felt like people were slowly sticking needles into my skin. I felt like things Southern Baptists aren't supposed to say.

I know, I know, I'll stop.

I figured you didn't want to read a pun about my... appalling experience, so I have one about Cyber Monday, which is three days after Black Friday (so today).

I just ordered a reversible jacket online. I can't wait to see how it turns out.


Thankfully I am no longer using that medication, so no eye failure for me.
Your Royal Paleness